When Bipolar takes over

If I knew what life had waiting for me just around the corner, I’’m pretty sure that I would have done something silly long ago. Maybe death would have succeeded in one of its attempts.

I just turned 30 and have been going through this emotional battle with my own mind for quiet some time now. The thing is, I have Bipolar disorder and as time passes the less I recognize myself. I’m addicted to the past, because it doesn’t take long until the present is nothing but memories. Some are good, but most are bad.

It all started with depression followed by hypotonic episodes. During my early/late 20 I was this extremely intense person. I would leave my mark everywhere, be it good or bad. Would you believe that I’ve started like 9 or 10 different semester in college duo to always messing things up with some crazy mood episode? Then I’d be too embarrassed or ashamed to consider going back. I lost all my friends and relationships for Bipolar.

Doctors tell you that you are going to get your life back. That medication and therapy are going to give you the strength to fight back and have a normal life, with jobs, friends and a girlfriend. Such promises might be true for some, but not for those who have Bipolar like mine. As of now I accepted this new reality and have been doing my best, still everyday might be the day where I might lose control.

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