Becoming of a Butterfly

A time comes when the caterpillar must break the cocoon walls, and a butterfly must spread its wings to fly into the unknown of the vast sky. The butterfly doesn’t know the colors of her wings or the heights of the flight she will have to make to survive. She only hears the heartbeat of her heart and feels the fire of courage and grit burning in her to fly. And so she does.

For many years, I, too, was buried in a cocoon that looked like a haven from outside, but inside was a tumultuous picture. I was suffocating and was longing to breathe. As I continue to awaken and grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally the space inside the cocoon became tighter and tighter. I had to break the cocoon. And so I did and flew into the callings of the azure sky.

Love or a relationship can go wrong in many different ways. The changes to a human heart are in ways incomprehensible and sometimes forever. For me, I ended up locking the doors to my heart and throwing the key away only to realize that one cannot contain love. Once we feed on the love, we become love. The sweet emotion of love is like the force of water that can break a dam’s walls. I had so much love to give as a human to my family, friends, neighbors, and anyone and not to just one significant relation. I have no right to suppress what I feel and own in my veins, blood, and spirit. Love did not fail me; it was the relationship that failed me.

“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.” ~ Bhagavad Gita

I had been at a place that was not authentic to my inner being- a relationship and a space that did not align with my true self.

An empath and a rescuer with narrow boundaries, I am guilty of creating a destiny that was not mine but somebody’s else. In the end, I had nothing left to give, and I refused to continue with the solo dance of giving and fulfilling others’ expectations. What I gained when I left behind my past and an assumed relationship was priceless. I embraced myself wholly and set out on the path to living life authentically and honor myself every day, no matter what!

Healing is not linear though I was soon to find out. If one day I felt great, then the next was dreadful as it could be. Since healing does not come with a…

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