COLLEGE AFTER 40

I want to share my experience at college after I turned forty. So, here you must be assuming that after my kid grew up I got this drive to take up my lost dreams and pursue my education further and build a career for myself. But interestingly it is definitely not that. It is so much more fun than studies.
So, you must be now curious if not education, then what took me to college after forty. I will take you through my roller coaster journey where I did live a life of college minus the studies. The fun, the adventures, the togetherness, the ups and downs without attending a single class.

I am a mom with a single child and he left for college to USA at the age of seventeen. In the first two years he lived in a college dorm and I visited him a couple of times but it was not too great as the trips were short and I had to live in a hotel away from him. But sometimes your prayers are answered and mine were. He shifted into a townhouse with three of his friends for his remaining two years. Here is where my adventures started.

At first the boys were apprehensive about a parent visiting and staying with them, which is very obvious and understandable. They had never met me. I was nervous too as living with four teenage boys under one roof was a daunting thought. I have been very close to my son and over the years we were more friends than mother and son. But here we are talking about three more boys whom I had never met.

Somehow my son convinced them to make a whatsapp group of us five so they could get to know me better and then decide if they were comfortable enough for me to come and live with them for a couple of months. This is where we started a bond which would go on for years to come. Soon they agreed to give it a try. I was on top of the world when I finally flew to live with them for a couple of months.

But nothing prepared me for my first day at their home. If I could call it a home. They had a beautiful townhouse with four bedrooms, which sadly were just big enough to accommodate one person. A huge kitchen, where the platform was almost invisible and the sink was brimming with dirty dishes. A spacious sitting room which was occupied with every one’s laundry, pizza boxes, beer cans and a lot of unidentifiable objects.

After the long flight these sights brought me to tears and I started having second thoughts about my decision to visit them. But here I was, with no choice left. So, dumping my bags to one side, I started the cleaning spree. It took me several hours and back breaking efforts but after it was done I could see what a pretty house it was. My home for the next two months.

I got a very warm welcome from the boys. Not to mention that they were overjoyed to have someone clean up the house for them. The same evening we were invited to a party. I was a little apprehensive but excited too, to attend a party with fifty other students my son’s age. As soon as we reached the party I was welcomed with open arms. All his close friends offered me every possible drink and were taking very special care that my glass was never empty. I was feeling very special until I came to know the reason behind it. My son and friends had placed a bet on me. My son had challenged them that they could not get me drunk and they took it up and promised to get me drunk in no time. It was hilarious as my son won the bet when after having everything they offered I danced halfway through the night and walked home straight. And that night I gained their “respect” and was accepted as one of the “gang”. I had passed the test with flying colours.

Thus, the fun began. I became known as the ‘cool mom’. I was always surrounded by kids. Even if my son was not around I had these lovely kids who took care of my every need. Took me out for dinners, brought me lunch. Made sure I had everything I needed. We watched movies, shows. Played games late into the night. I even had to bear the torture of seeing every football match with them. The stories are endless but I want to take you through some of my amazing experiences.

One was a road trip I took with these three boys. From Purdue university. Indiana to Niagara falls. As all the boys were on a budget we decided to stay in budget inns sharing a single room. The drive was beautiful. It was so much fun with their funny anecdotes, the lovely music and their petty fights.The most amazing part was we were all very comfortable together sharing one room. It felt like I had three kids. Although not easy to have three teenage boys. We were spellbound by the Niagara falls. Took the “Maid of the mist’ ride into the falls. Saw the Canadian new year celebration. On the way back we visited the amusement park at Cider Point. We started at ten in the morning and were finally kicked out at midnight at closing time.The trip was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

One night, my son was punched by another student where his spectacles broke and tore his eyelid. I didn’t know what to do. He was bleeding profusely and I felt helpless. His friends took over. Called the 911. He was immediately taken to the hospital. They all stayed by my side throughout the night. Took care of my son for a whole week. Food, medicines, police, everything. It was then that I realized how beautiful and pure these kids are. They were my son’s family away from home.

I did every crazy, adventurous possible thing in the few months I was there. Running around the campus in the middle of the night when it rained. Going for long walks, getting lost and calling one of the kids. Finding random kids sleeping in the house after a crazy night of partying to getting the food I had made being stolen before I could eat or feed my son. Celebrating Diwali the indian way with all the kids. Cooking food for an army of kids every sunday, and seeing them vanish the minute it was time to do the dishes. Walking around the campus on Halloween night. Going bar hopping with all the kids and finally getting drunk. Being mesmerized by the fourth of July fireworks. Dancing and laughing in the snowfall, which was my first. Finally seeing them graduate and celebrating their graduation their way. The things I did with them are endless.

When I look back on those days I wonder about their total acceptance of me. Maybe the reason behind it was that I never questioned their lifestyle. I did not expect them to change for me. In fact I changed according to them. I watched what they watched, I ate what they ate, played what they played. I did not judge them for alcohol or partying or having their girlfriends over. In fact most of the time I was a referee to their fights. A counsellor when they needed one.

I never went to college when it was my time. God gave me a second chance. I lived a college life through my son and all the other kids. After my first visit they invited me every semester. The love and trust I earned is what made it all worthwhile. I was blessed to have all those kids around me, laughing, playing, pulling pranks on me. They gave me so much love, respect and acceptance. They have all moved on with their lives. But whenever one of them gets in touch with me, it fills my heart with joy and gratitude. I am ever so grateful I went to college after forty.

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